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    March 18

    Jeff Foxworthy on "Ontario":

    Jeff Foxworthy on "Ontario":



    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
    36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will
    swim by, you live in Ontario.


    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
    live in Ontario.

    If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
    year, you live in Ontario.

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
    his forehead, you live in Ontario.

    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
    Ontario.

    If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
    dialed a wrong number, you live in Ontario.

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN:
    1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.

    2. You measure distance in hours.

    3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

    4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then
    back again.

    5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow
    during a raging
    blizzard, without flinching.

    6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
    with snow.

    8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
    road construction.

    9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
    your blue spruce.

    10. Down South to you means London ...


    11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

    12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

    13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

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