If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

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If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

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The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

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A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

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A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

(Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Do not try this at home......maybe at work or school.)

***************************************************************
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

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The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football
field.

(30 minutes...can you imagine?)

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The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

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Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality
over quantity.)

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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

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The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm........)

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Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

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Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.

(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

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A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too.)

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Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure.

(What about that pig?)

This is sort of Gender specific and applies to girls more then guys but its still funny!

You know you grew up in the 1980's if . .
You ever ended your sentence with "psych"
You solved the Rubics cube.....by peeling off the stickers
You watched the pound puppies
You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a
club of your own.
You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
You know what 'Whoa' comes from Blossom
Three words: M.C. Hammer
You thought it would be great to have a friend named "Boner"
You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
Remember reading Kool-Aid man comics
You ever watched Fraggle Rock
You had plastic streamers on the handle bars of your bike
You remember When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons
You wore a pony tail to the side of your head
You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen
You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school
You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side
You had a Kirk Cameron poster on your bedroom wall
You played the game "Mash" with friends at school
You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it L.A. GEAR
Your mother wouldn't let you have garbage pail kids
You wanted to change your name to Jem in Kindergarten
You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on,Wax off"
You wanted to be a Goonie
You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing
You wanted to be on StarSearch
You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off
You took Lunch pales to school
You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf
You remember the craze, and then banning of slap bracelets
You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you make
You remember Hypercolor T-shirts
Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
You remember Punky Brewster
You loved Howard the duck
You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up
You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged "friendship bracelets"
You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes
After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I know you are but what am I?"
You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
You know not to mix poprocks and soda (but did it anyway!)
You have played with a 'skip-it'
You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's
You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks
You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoons
You remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An Egyptian"
If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat
You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special
You've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from the 80's"
You remember Popples
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks
You wore like 8 pairs of socks at once, scrunched down
MISS MARY MACK MACK MACK ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK.....
You remember boom boxes instead of CD players
You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies
You remember the Transformers
You know what it meant to say "care bear stare!!" and you had a favorite
You remember Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales
You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Melmac
You remember the large amounts of hairspray used
You remember those very stylish headbands
You remember Vicky the Robot
You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and talking to her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom
You remember the beggining of New Kids on the Block
You remember watching The Cosby show
You remember Mr.Belvadere
You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future
You know all the names of the gang from "Saved by the Bell"
You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "shot through the heart" song

Pretty Good ones here....

Real Air Traffic Controller Conversations
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

**************************************************************

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

***************************************************************

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm
f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself
immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

**************************************************************

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a
Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the
little Fokker in sight."

*************************************************************

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

************************************************************

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long
rollout after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make
a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you
are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at
the lights and return to the airport."

************************************************************

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two,
behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

************************************************************

Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was
the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot."

***********************************************************

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard
the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start
clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in
English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war."

***********************************************************

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,
after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of
the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,
contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from
Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for take off, roger; and
yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

**********************************************************

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed,
rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some
quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with
a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like
yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

**********************************************************

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate
parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from
them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to
the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British
Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location
now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not
been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I
didn't land." 

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Hola!!!  Hi Everyone :-)  I'm surprised anyone's actually viewed my page, thanks to all that have and I hope you enjoy my crazy and silly pictures.

Send me an email if you like wendylynne@hotmail.com

ciao